Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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