windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
