in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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