I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We named our party play list daddy issues
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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