I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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