and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
