The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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