There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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