and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
