D3 body, D1 cock
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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