Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
