Buhtt sex?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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