I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
