We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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