i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
