Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
