I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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