i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So many bounce houses so little time
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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