my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
