Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
