oh god the rape fog is back!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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