Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
