i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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