new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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