He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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