yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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