Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
