Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
