She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
someone owes me an orgasm
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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