I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
