She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
