My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My bed smells like the plague
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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