He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
