its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
