I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
