You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
