How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
