bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
