Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
