I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
