i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
