The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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