god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
