I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
