There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
