I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
