nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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