The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
