Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
