People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
