is your mom at the bar?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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