i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
