I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
