she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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